its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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