So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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