don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
