i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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