"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize