low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
