I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize