you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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