Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
