Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
