she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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