So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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