6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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