is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
