I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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