It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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