Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she pinky promised me she was 18
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Every concussion has its silver lining
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My penis needs a shock collar
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
