I got chris browned last night
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I need a beard to bite.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
