Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
