I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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