I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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