I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
