For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Randomize
