i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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