He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
