I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
