Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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