Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
