I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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