respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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