I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
