you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
