He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My ass is underappreciated
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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