wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
