dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
