Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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