If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
