i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
