Your dad touched me again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
