Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
