wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
