hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
