She went from zero to smokin in five shots
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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