I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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