can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
