so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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