Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
