so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
