So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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