If i could tip my vagina, i would.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
