some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize