I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
COCAINE IS GR8
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
