dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
