Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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