Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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