His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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