You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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