What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
