Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When did we convert life to cartoon?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
