is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
