I wanna bring you to show and tell
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
