If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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