By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
