Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
