At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
