The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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