You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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