C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
