I skipped work to stalk him.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
