I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
