Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
