I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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