he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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