Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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