dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
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