we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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