Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
