we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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