Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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