I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
