ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
