Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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