i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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