i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
