i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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