Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
