Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize